Review – Page 3 – Burlesque NYC

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Peel Me a Glove

Grace Gotham is your host at Sid Gold’s Request Room every fourth Tuesday of the month for Peel Me a Glove.

With the help of Chris Johnson on piano, Grace sings a tweaked take on The Coffee Song.

Chris Johnson invites the audience to sing along on “Stuck in the middle with you”, but feigning disappointment in the audience participation, he quips: “You’re here for I other things. That’s ok. Me too.”

When Grace comments on him only learning that song the day before, he retorts “I mean it’s three chords. I’ve played those three chords before. Just not together.”

Grace shares that she’s celebrating 19 years of living in New York, and adapts a jazzy version of Englishman in New York.

Karina Libido is tonight’s stage kitten, and Grace runs us through her two truths and a lie:

She was interviewed on BBC
She won a mud wrestling match with the title “the dirtiest thing”
She was arrested by a policeman for drinking alcohol on a trans-continental train with said policeman

It turns out that she wasn’t actually drinking when the policeman saw here, but he claimed that it was illegal to have an open bottle of alcohol on the train, so she should drink it. Which she did, after which he arrested her for the actual felony – drinking on a train!

We were a good half hour into the show before the first act started. Luckily, it was a good one: Sapphire Jones came out as a pineapple to Escape (which is better known for it’s Colada’d refrain). And in case you were wondering, while she wasn’t featured in Pretty Little Liars, she is a passer-by in Spider-man 3 and was featured in UFC magazine (but not as a fighter).

And with that, we hit the intermission.

Grace came out for her act, and while I did catch that the big thing she was holding was a tampon. I only connected it to the actual song played after I got home. Well played. “That outfit took a lot of trips to Duane Reade” she shared.

The set closed with one of my favorite performers: Gal Friday, the five alarm fire of burlesque – dressed in purple.
Towards the end of the set, she took a guy’s phone and clenched it between her cheeks – the ones in the back. Only at the end of the set did she return it – or rather, let the guy take his phone back.

“That’s what show girls go when we need a new iPhone!” Grace said, as she introduced us to Gal’s two truths and a lie:

She does not care about reality TV shows
Her mother is a tattoo biker
She once punched a guy off the go go box

She did in fact once punch a guy, after he had already spanked her unannounced once, and really went for it a second time. So did she, punching him over the head, and knocking him off the gogo box. I say, good on her – consent is key, and some men need to learn the hard way!

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Bathtub Gin

I learned the hard way last week that this show starts on time, or even a little early – right before 10pm.

Boo Bess introduced the show, dressed – her words – as a golden Barbie: “I promise I’ll be gentle. I never keep my promises.”

First up was Matthew Holtzclaw. I was standing too far back to see his tricks, but they went over well with the audience. Hazel Honeysuckle followed him, dressed in green and pink, performing a classic number to a sequence of two trumpet songs, leading us into the first break as Boo instructed us to go flirt with somebody’s mom.

Next up was Sydni Deveraux, 9 feet of legs, and flirting with the people standing behind the velvet rope, ending with her signature finishing move.

As is tradition at Bathtub Gin, the last act was performed in the aforementioned tub – and nobody does the tub better than Medianoche, who trashed sheets of water on both ends of the splash zone with her legs as well as her hair.

“Congratulations, you’re all pregnant now!” Boo informed us. Yes we all were. Let’s do it again sometime!

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Slippery Sundays

I had not ever made it to a Sunday evening at The Slipper Room before, so it was high time I put in some effort.

Set 1

Our hostess/femcee for the evening was Fancy Feast, dressed in red.

First up: Seedy Edie, all in red as well, with what she was dancing to on her head: Horns.

Qualms Galore brought us Soul Bossa Nova with a hairbow tie. This was my first time seeing her perform, and the first and most obvious thought that came to mind was, “I wonder who’s taller, her or Sydni Deveraux?”

Michael Karas came out to juggle, prompting someone in the audience to yell out “Look at those balls!”. Things took a turn for the weird when the curtain opened up and a puppet joined the act to the tune of the song from the Muppets, showing off Michael’s perfect timing to the music as the puppet took a bite out of a few of the balls.

When the raucous bachelorette party in the back made a lot of noise during the dance contest, Fancy went “Y’all are not the balcony but you’re drunk enough to think you are and I love that about you!”

And then Fancy introduced herself for an act, on the crossroads of NPR, Judaism and BDSM – “fifty shades of Oy Vey” as she called it. Interestingly enough, Christian Gray’s voice sounded a lot like Satan’s from last Friday. She got undressed, chained herself to the back curtain, then broke free and threw herself on hands and knees on the gogo box.

Next up, Emily Shephard channeled Lana Del Rey, ending up with a painter’s palette with four colors, all of them glitter, for cover.

Qualms Galore was on the gogo box during intermission as Emily shepherded the tip bucket around the room.

Set 2

Fancy came back with an umbrella, dove into the audience to Eva Cassidy’s “Stormy Monday”, and as she checked the room for bachelorettes, birthdays, and first dates, she commented to someone pointing out another couple: “You’re ratting out a first date that you’re not even on.”

Seedy Edie followed as a black Raven, blending a soothing Lullaby Of Birdland with a Karen O-squawked Immigrant Song.

As a sex educator, Fancy opened up the floor to sex questions. After giving some sage advice on how to get your husband to go along with pegging to the visiting Burlesque dancer from Montana, she also introduced us to the proper technique for a back door visit. She started by having us all roll up our hand so we could practice the technique with her. Halfway through, as the room was breaking up with laughter, she berated us: “You all are dying and we’re not even in the asshole yet.”

A tough act to follow, and Fancy apologized in advance to the next performer. Emily came back as a pussycat with the help of Deee-Lite. Qualms Galore asked all the men in the audience why they don’t do right.

Finishing the second set is a thankless job, and doubly so if you’re a man and not the dancing girl the audience was hoping for. But Kanye was on the phone to raise the stakes, and Michael did his incredible Beyoncé number:

And with that, Fancy closed the night: “This is Slippery Sundays. That’s not a name, it’s a guarantee.” And as she said goodbye to the audience, a woman at a table threw a bouquet of flowers at her.

Emily Shephard came out for the second round of gogo dancing, which got a few women to come out and lie backwards on the gogo box with money on their face, ready for pickup. Not a bad way to finish a Sunday evening.

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The Slipper Room Show

I got to The Slipper Room slightly late, thinking it started at 10pm instead of 9.30pm

9.30pm Set 1

Fancy Feast hosted the 9.30pm show.

Jason Mejias did a super-elegant and perfectly controlled rope aerial act to “Ne me quitte pas”.

Matthew Holtzclaw came up juggling lemons, which he dropped, sending them into the audience. After that he asked for money, and someone gave him a two dollar bill. Matthew asked him to write down his name on the bill, and then burnt the bill. He did some other tricks, then asked for any of the lemons that had rolled into the audience. He sliced it open with a stiletto, and lo and behold – a crumpled two dollar bill with the owner’s name on it!

Penny Wren put Danzig’s “Mother” to good use, starting with a helmet that was too warm to keep on for long.

12am

Bastard Keith hosted the midnight show, and called on someone at the bar who explained he was an ex-boyfriend of someone who works the bar, which got awkward fairly quickly, but BK is not one to shy away from awkward. He asked Fancy, sitting in the front row, for advice, but she shrugged and said “It’s your show now”. He asked, “but what do you do in a situation like this?” “I flop out a boob.” “Hm, I can’t do that. But I have a nut!” Some people don’t need a lot of convincing.

I had never seen Alisa Fendley before, but doing an aerial act in a yellow chemical suit was hot in all the right and the wrong ways, and made all the more subtly funny given that she’s form Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Jelly Boy swallowed a few swords in his first set, then swung a beer can from a hook attached to his eyelid in his second set, causing Penny Wren in the first row to bend her legs up to cover her eyes.

The night closed with Ula Uberbusen getting political.